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The Event Horizon of Awful Things

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A Christmas Appointment [Dec. 22nd, 2011|12:21 pm]
This was something that had been bugging me for a while: a classic movie has a plot hole that needs filling.


The man stood across from 320 Sycamore, slightly in the shadows. If the people streaming into the Bailey house with their life savings and rainy-day money had looked across the street, they'd falter, for a second, concerned.

He was tall, and thin, yet gave off an impression of strength, the kind of man Nick over at Martini's wouldn't enjoy tangling with. His face was...off, somehow. Especially the smile.

In fact, everything about him was off. His skin was a little too pale to explain away as the result of winter. His black clothes were a little too out of fashion and seemed to absorb a little too much light. But his hands were the worst.

They were knobby, ugly things, covered in veins and hair. As the man casually cracked each knuckle, the muscles in them flexed, like steel springs. They were the hands of a man who liked to hurt people.

The hands of a man who was good at it.

But nobody looked. It was better for them, really, the man mused. He just had to stay out of sight and wait.

He heard a bell jingle, and smirked. Clarence had gotten his wings, and gotten out of his way. Just one more, and he could go to his appointment.

And there he was, the bodyguard. The guard looked around furtively before taking out an envelope. There was eight thousand dollars in it, the man knew. His hands flexed, anxious. Everything depended on this.

The bodyguard looked around furtively and, as the crowd began to sing, he slipped the envelope into the mailbox and quickly walked away. Towards the train station, and away from Bedford Falls for good.

So nobody would know what had really happened. Good for him, the man thought, stepping out of his hiding place and starting to walk. He moved quickly, knuckles cracking as his hands flexed. Pesky angels out of the way, the entire town in the Bailey household or asleep, everything was perfect.

The man walked toward the bank, whistling the Coventry Carol and cracking his knuckles in time to the tune. True, he had an appointment.

But Mr. Potter wasn't going anywhere.
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At my wit's end. [Dec. 12th, 2011|11:14 pm]
So, today I found fleas on Linus.  A-FUCKING-GAIN.

I am so done with this shit.  We've been using Vectra, and the shit's worse than useless.  It lasts two to three weeks, absolute tops.  Flea shampoo seems to help, but I want these annoying bastards dead and gone, not constantly biting my dog.  

I just bought some nematodes; the yard has to be the weak link, so I'm going to salt the motherfucking earth.  Then I'm going to stop dicking around and do what my dad taught me to do with any bug: bust out the fucking Borax.  I'm going to sprinkle that shit inside the couches, and pull every rug after vacuuming it, soak in some Borax, and let it sit for a few days.  In addition to vacuuming, that'll teach the little cocksuckers a few lessons.

And if that fails, nanotech.  I'm really sick of this shit.
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Sixpoint, I am disappoint [Nov. 12th, 2011|04:22 pm]
May as well break my LJ silence (lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of writing: that's my life) to warn you away from a label: Sixpoint Beers

It's not that the beers themselves are bad, per se; they're solid craft beer.  It's just that they're somewhat overpriced and suffer from bad labels.  I bought their Bengali Tiger, not realizing it was an IPA, which I don't like, and discovered that it was an IPA only by going on their website.  Similarly, their alleged Autumn beer was an overhopped disaster.  Similarly, their cream ale is more of a pilsner than anything, and their lager (The Crisp) is good, but nothing outstanding.  So, I've tried four of their beers and been underwhelmed across the board: not worth it.
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My grandfather died [Aug. 29th, 2011|07:42 pm]
I...I don't have anything to say beyond that.  I'm just...yeah.

I will be on the road tomorrow through Thursday, so, if you need to reach me for some reason, call/text.
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Quiznos Takes a Torpedo [Jul. 21st, 2011|05:19 pm]
So, Quizno's balls are apparently one micron from the bandsaw:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/184645/20110721/quiznos-downfall-subway.htm

If they default on their debt, expect a lot of shops to close in a hurry (and annoying, shrill ad campaigns to go the fuck away).  So if you've got coupons, might want to use them up.
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So, after doing some research... [Jul. 14th, 2011|03:12 pm]
It turned out to be pointless because my friend [lj user=0bsessions] pointed me towards the best solution:  Nook2Android.

http://www.nook2android.com/faq/

It's a card that serves as a dual-boot.  Since it costs about the same as the Class 6 card I'd be using anyway, I just got that.  No worries about rooting the OS (although I still might at some point), all the space I need for comics, etc.  Awesome!

Also, I might be able to convince one of my markets to pay for the Nook, so hooray!  It's not just a toy I can write off on my taxes!
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Anybody here rooted a Nook Color? [Jul. 13th, 2011|04:34 pm]
I'm debating getting back into comics since reading them is now kinda my job.  But I can't afford the space that longboxes would eat up in my apartment.  So I'd like to buy them digitally, especially since DC is going all day-and-date on digital's ass.

That means a tablet.  As I just bought a laptop, there is no way in hell I'm spending $600 on a device just to read comics.  And yet, apparently the Comixology app for Android is not supported by the Nook.

Yet you can wipe the Nook and make it a full-featured Android tablet, apparently.  Any experience with this out there?
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2011|04:50 pm]
Just a brief note to anybody who defends one enormous retail conglomerate while condemning another:

Guys, odds are pretty good if a company is an enormous retail conglomerate, they got there by acting like complete bastards.  It's perfectly OK to not want to shop at some stores for various reasons: I don't buy anything from Urban Outfitters because the owners threw money at Rick Santorum and other far-right causes that I don't support.

It's not OK to act like some businesses are lily-white while others are pure Satan.  Granted, some are more evil than others, but realistically, this shit doesn't scale. 
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The problem with "inFamous" [Jun. 25th, 2011|06:25 pm]
"inFamous" is a great game: I'm replaying it now and thoroughly enjoying it.  It's superbly balanced, well designed, and extremely well-thought-out.

All that said, there is one big flaw in the writing: you kind of wonder why Cole, the man with electric superpowers who can fly, doesn't just fuck off and let Empire City burn, since nothing he does is good enough for these ingrates.

To recap: "inFamous" is an open world game with a morality system and lots of side missions, usually of the "citizen needs your help desperately" stripe.  The side missions are actually extremely necessary: some unlock new powers and all give you XP to spend to upgrade your powers (most of which you'll barely use, but what the hell).  The problem is, these citizens are usually incredibly bossy.  It's not, "hey, guy being hunted by gangs and saving me while I cower and do absolutely jack shit, please help me!",  it's, "the gangs are doing something I don't like.  You should stop it."

The worst is the main character's supposed love of his life, Trish, who, if you're a bad guy, rewards your protecting her valuable bus full of medical supplies, that she drives right through a gang war, including lots of douchebags with rocket launchers and swarms of enemies (this is a game where if there are more than one or two enemies, you will get your ass handed to you unless you find cover or start throwing grenades), at the slowest possible pace even after her boyfriend screams at her to floor it, which means he gets blasted with rockets and will likely take a few bullets...and then rescues her from a nasty hostage situation while legions of bad guys are trying to gun you down...yeah, her reaction is "I think you're a douche, so we're breaking up."

So, manipulating your boyfriend to do what you want at risk of his life and limb, that's OK, but some stuff you've heard but haven't seen is more than enough rope to hang him?

If you're a good guy, she is nice to you (for all that THAT matters), but the populace is still snotty.  

It's a problem in that the game really does have a good storyline, but it's difficult to become emotionally invested when pretty much the entire populace act like assholes.  It makes the karma system pretty much a choice between whether you're a backshooting dirtbag (the "Good" side mostly focuses on tightly aimed weapons that require precision) or charge in blowing everything up (the "Bad" side basically consists of powers that bring new meaning to the term "collateral damage").
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Anybody want to adopt a Shih Tzu? (No, not Linus, her brother) [Jun. 18th, 2011|10:10 am]
Just trying to boost the signal on this: Alaina's coworker has been having some hard times lately and still has one of the Shih Tzu puppies from the second litter.  His name is currently Rondo, he's three months, he's got brown fur with black highlights (my desire to put a tuning fork on his head and call him Lockjaw was pretty intense), and he's adorable.

Alaina and I would adopt him in a second except we'd never see Winsty again due to spite and I'd go insane caring for two dogs and working from home.  But it was tempting.  That's how cute he is.

If you're looking for a purebred dog, I'll vouch for Shih Tzus.  They're great apartment dogs, and Rondo has a great personality.  Linus has been a great puppy.

Oh, also, hi.  My life is really boring.  I might get an iPad for free, but it would mean I have to review apps, and I'm not sure I want to get into that financial quagmire. That's the extent of excitement lately (well, I did go on vacation to Maine, but that was literally watching movies, sitting on the beach, and drinking: six bottles of alcohol were killed among four people over a week.)

Also, I might be throwing a party to clean out my liquor cabinet somewhat: there's too much shit in there now.  Watch this space.
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